Clean up on aisle 4

There are many things that as a mother that you learn to just accept as part of the job description, such as not expecting to eat without sharing, pee alone, or take naps.

There are some things that when they happen there are no words, no corrective actions, and no consolation. It just sucks.

Today after I woke up from post work sleep Justin and I decided that after the kids ate and were bathed in jammies that we would do a spontaneous break the rules at bedtime and go to Toys R Us to make Christmas lists.

We thought we were awesome. How many parents postpone bedtime for a Toys R Us trip? Hello people, we rock. (ha-ha)

So as we are wandering around the car aisle Heidi did some crazy ninja maneuver with throwing her head back because she wanted me to hold her. I gladly accepted, had I known what was coming next I may have let Justin take the hit.

As I shuffle her to my hip she made a strange gag noise. Kind of threw me off because she wasn’t sick- I think she gave her self some kind of whiplash which then promptly caused her to projectile vomit, not once, not twice but three times all over me and the cart of NOT purchased items. Vomit down my shirt, in my bra and a small pile in my shoes.

I hate when I recognize the food partially digested as it lays on the floor.

Lets just say that it will be awhile before I can eat ziti.

Right as she was puking Garrett looks over and says “yuck”. Justin is mortified. Carter takes a wiff and plugs his nose and covers his mouth, gags a little and says “that is disgusting!” Me? Well I’m the Mom and I had no words. I had to hold my breath because I was salivating and trying my best not to vomit. Each time I took a breath the sour aroma I was wearing almost made me lose it. The people around us-well let’s just say honey badger don’t care- nearest exit please? New clothes?

We still had to go to target (phew)- I was able to get a new shirt, remove the vomit that puddle in my bra and clean out my shoes. You would think that I don’t totally freak out about puke since I am an RN right? WRONG! I always wait until the patient is done vomiting, and thrown away their emesis before I enter the room. I just cannot handle it!!!!

So these awesome parents took our kids home, put them to bed. As I was turning the lights out the strong smell of vomited milk filled the room. I bet you’ll never guess that Heidi vomited in her crib. Sigh, poor baby.

As for now everyone is clean and asleep.

We will have to rethink our awesomeness in future endeavors.