A clean perspective

August 23, 2010

A clean perspective

After a bubble bath, clean clothes & listening to some inspirational music- I feel refreshed. It’s amazing what 15 minutes can do for your outlook! I was thinking about what I love about each of my children, what makes them so special to me.

Carter is a riot. He is so imaginative & kind. He is always trying to give me something or help me out in some way. He loves to play and “do fun things together”. He is such a charmer; he can negotiate his way into anything or out of anything with anyone!

Heidi is reserved, but wants to be in on all the action around her; she always wants to look around. She loves to be walked through the house or go places with me. She kicks all the time, much like she did in the womb. She loves to coo, and makes you work for a smile!

Garrett smiles & laughs at everything! Even if he is upset a few gentle words and he smiles so big! He is so noisy; he doesn’t do anything without making grunting, gurgling & cooing noises. He loves his mama and loves to snuggle with me. He loves to be close to Heidi- she just seems to tolerate him.

Today my babies are 3 months old! It seems like an eternity has passed as I am trying to adjust to the newest members of our family.

I cannot imagine life without them. It is amazing how much love we are capable of for our children…

I was thinking about “life” balance and thought of what my balance would look like on a pie chart broken down into percentages.

The saying is God first, Husband second, children third.

I wish I could meet someone who has harmoniously accomplished that.

Everyday I beg God to be near to me & give me the strength to raise my children to love him, and desire to have a relationship with him. I know what the ultimate goal is- to be reunited with Jesus in heaven and hang out with my family.

My relationship with God lately is one sided- me just asking and begging for help, guidance and peace. You know what- he honors that (because I am still standing) Giving that one 2.5%

Justin is just as overwhelmed as I am but I have nothing for him now except frustration, he usually gets about 2.5% too. Since he can poop on his own and feed himself he is off the list!

The children…they get about 85% of everything from me. They need it. I want to give more than I am able.

I feel guilty a lot when I look forward to Carter going to preschool, or someone else coming to hold the babies so I can fold laundry or go to Target to buy diapers.

I know that is a common feeling- the guilt over needing a little separation & then missing them like crazy! Strange isn’t it?

To divide my life balance into the remaining slivers

Work gets 6% ish

Household life things get 3%

And I have to manage on 1% or less. I have to find renewal in 1%. Strangely enough it is possible. Even in the most desperate, exasperated state, its possible. I am living proof. 15 minutes in a tub with a facemask makes the world a brighter place.